It takes as much willpower & determination to steep in the ebb as it does to charge forward in the flow.
I struggle with rest. My inner critic tells me I am a waste of human flesh if I am not producing something. It says to me that I am not honoring my values of forward movement, of action, of getting sh*t done. It tells me that my value of freedom, financial stability, and security are all being compromised by standing still. So I fight my body and mind and soul with all I have. I belittle it. I force myself to sit and stare at a screen or clean out a closet. And I am miserable. I make hasty decisions and many mistakes and tell myself, "At least I'm not lazy."
This is the conditioning of the world we live in. The man-made need for being on top, ahead, the best. But the universe does not operate in this way and what are we but made up from stardust and magic bits of universe? The moon works in phases, the trees lose their leaves, women who menstruate bleed, and yet we charge forward ignoring the need to deeply rest. And when the moon shines after darkness, she is brighter for it. When the trees stretch their limbs and blossom with leaves, they are fuller and more colorful from the deep rest through winter. And when women bleed, we release physically and mentally what we no longer need and we are stronger for it. But at least we aren't lazy. Bullshit.
If we gave as much energy as we do to push forward into resting, imagine the possibilities! So I put this to the test. I deeply rested. No guilt. No pressure. I ate when I was hungry. I slept when I was tired. I completed nibbles of tasks that felt right. I followed what my mind, body, and soul wanted. And in doing so, I discovered I was honoring my values of being a nurturer and a healer -- something I give to others, but rarely think about giving myself. And what a wonderful opportunity to experience my own nurturing and healing! It connected me to an even deeper sense of purpose in how I move through the world and the gifts I have to share. Not only did I find new seeds to water and grow in my rest, I feel bright eyed and bushy tailed with new ideas and energy to bring forth. Aha. Nature wins again.
So my intention this year, is to pay attention the need for deep rest. To allow the cycle to unfold. To take learnings during the rest and move through the flow with the space and thoughtfulness I cultivate in the ebb.
What are you letting go of so you can deeper connect with yourself and bring forth brighter and fuller growth this year?